22 March 2006

still moving...

slow, i know... but hey, i'm all by myself here... so, y'know, it's not easy! anyway, please check out the links on my sidebar, and, by all means come see me at my new address -- pardon the mess, tho', cuz i haven't finished unpacking! and, yes, feel free to bring a snack, this is really hard work and, to make matters worse, i can't seem to find my greenies!

21 March 2006

hello? did i mention...

...i'm moving??? if so, did i mention i'm moving because blogger is sucking the big suck these days and, try as i might, i cannot load up pictures and/or post the actual shit i want to post? and, did i also mention that my new address is puppytoes.typepad.com? and that, even as we speak, over there i'm talkin' about all kinds of stuff today involving birthdays/tattoos/silliniess?? good. so...um... why are you still here??

20 March 2006


[i know what you're thinking and you couldn't be more wrong. unless you're thinking, gosh, what a cute little puppy, because then, of course, you're right! but for anyone who thought i changed my mind about moving? i am. but i haven't added my "favorites" (and you know who you are) to the side-bar of my new blog yet so i thought i'd keep posting on both sites until the move is "complete". but, make no mistake, i'm moving... oh yes. i am moving.]

last night, i had a dream. in this dream, i wasn't the glorious/fiesty little puppy girl you all know and love, i was the mild-mannered whimpy boy max that some of you love but who is a royal pain in my glorious/fiesty little puppy girl butt, which, of course, has nothing to do with my dream, but needed to be said. anyway, in this dream, i didn't know where i was, but i think it was a kennel of some sort. (me? in a kennel??? that's a laugh! to know me and/or my mommy and/or my daddy is to know that would never happen...)
in this dream, a guy named tony soprano came into the cage i was sitting in and tried to steal my akc papers because, and i quote, "my show's turning into a dog... at least with these papers i can say it's still worth a lot of dough". i got up off the pillow i was resting on, walked slowly over to where he stood, and, because i was max, lifted my back leg and pee'd all over his big fat foot. then he started to cry. and i laughed and laughed and laughed.

now, i can't be sure, but i think i had that dream because mommy & daddy were less than impressed last night with the 2nd episode of a show they've described in the past as pretty freaking ball kickin' awesome! last night, it was, apparently, sort of freak-ee but not so much ball-kickin' and/or awesome. for a true "overview" (i.e. "daddy's review-ish rant") of last night's episode of the soprano's (along with his thoughts on that sluttywhore, meredith, on grey's anatomy) check out
bobo banjoey.

i hope the sopranos gets better... mommy and daddy have so few joys in life, and, sadly, most of 'em seem to be tied in to a handful of television programs. i've said it before, but it does bear repeating... pity them. i know i do.

now, as long as i'm on the subject of television (and i am) i have a little
tv related question: what in the wide wide world of sports is up with tom cruise?? i read this, and all i can say is he scares me. gotta love south park creators matt stone and trey parker tho'--mommy wonders how long before they do an episode (or film) called "the million-year war for earth" featuring tom cruise. i figure the kids will lure him back in stan's closet (maybe feature george "i did not write that blog" clooney, again as sparky, stan's gay dog) lock him (tom "i am a scary scary man" cruise) in, and throw away the key. (not a bad idea, really)

scientologists... can't live with 'em, can't make fun of 'em.

"Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television." ~ Woody Allen

19 March 2006

dalai bobo's...

...thought for the week: can be found [here]
since i still can't load pictures up on blogger... that's going to become my permanent home soon--i'm moving now, and hopefully i can make it "official" in a few days! (oh, what am i saying? i can pretty much make it official right now...but i won't. these things must be handled delicately... ish.)

18 March 2006

serenity now...please?

...please? pretty please?
lord grant me serenity to accept the things i cannot change... before i go on a freaking rampage and bite off someone's toes!
i mean, i'm just one precious little puppy-girl and the only problem i should ever have to confront is how to get mommy and/or daddy to give me more treats. on the other hand, blogger seems to be having problem after problem after problem and it's just too freaking much! so i think i'll work on the "treat problem" aspect of my day and let those nimrods guys at blogger work on the sh*ttyf*cky crappy "blogger/blogging problems" aspect of their day, and hope that, somehow things are magically "fixed" by tomorrow.
in the meantimeif ya want something good/fun/more interesting to read, why not check out daddy's blog? i know that's what i'm gonna do! i'd also like to suggest ya check out some of my favorites listed over there on the sidebar, but guess what? there's nothing in my sidebar (unless there is ...like everything else this changes every 5 minutes... )!! did i not just mention the freaking problems i'm having with stupid blogger today?? sigh i'm sorry. there's no need for me to get snappish here, just because my stupid little blog has looked even more stupid for the past 3 (count 'em three) days... apparently the side bar is yet, another part of the f*cky annoying blogger/blogging/blogf*ck glitch that's giving me/those nimrods guys such a headache right now. i swear to all that's holly hunter i'd bite toes, if i thought it would do any good. but it won't, so i won't.
"Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining." ~ Jef Raskin

17 March 2006


i've fallen into a bloggy-vortex (again) and i can't get out!!! send help! and please, send help soon!!!!
either that's what's goin' on here, or blogger hates me and that's why they keep screwing with my stupid little website. stupid blogger. screwing with my stupid website. trapping me in a bloggy black hole. makin' my blog look ... stupid.

was it something i said?

yeesh! i feel like i've just come out of a coma. now, i know i'm not the only one on blogger to feel this way, but, damn! nothin' like trying to log on and being denied access to your own account. like being told you're "under maintenance", and then being "under maintenance" for 2 whole freaking days. was i broken? did i spring a leak somewhere? were my emissions over the level deemed healthy for human consumption? is there something i can take for that? am i going to be okay? will i live? should i notify my next of kin? make out a will?
sigh. and, since blogger has such lousy blog-side manner, i may never know what's up with... me.
"I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription." ~ Finley Peter Dunne

16 March 2006

george clooney did not write this blog.

what a difference a couple of days make. turns out i'm really glad i didn't post the...er... post i wrote two days ago, because there's been a *new development* worth exploring discussing mentioning for the purposes of filling space here noting.
it all started with isaac hayes, so it's his fault, really, for leaving south park. because i started writing about that and found myself kind of rolling with a whole south park-related theme when i made an extremely clever segue into a comment about george clooney and how he wrot...wait a tick! why explain things now when i can just as easily post the post i didn't post two days ago? what a great idea! why didn't i think of that before? (why am i asking you?)
>> okay, so the following is part of the un-posted post from 14 march 2006 (just pretend you understand, it'll make things easier):
...now, as long as i'm on the subject of south park (and i am) remember how george clooney did the voice of sparky, the gay dog? that was funny.

speaking of george clooney...(how's that for a segue?) i think i mentioned in my
oscar overview last week, that mommy and daddy are bigbig fans... more so since mr. clooney stopped "being" the sexiest man alive--they've always thought he was so much more than just another pretty face. they really appreciate his abilities as an actor and as a director. that said, even tho' mommy and daddy like george clooney because he's talented, they like him best because he's smart and outspoken. and never more so than when he wrote about his liberal leanings on the huffington post yesterday. (the huffington post is a finefinefine political blog, by the way, especially since arianna huffington, like boy #1, has seen the error of her conservative ways and is now a card-carrying liberal. gosh we like it when that happens!)
actually, mommy thinks george clooney has always shown his liberal colors, even back when he did that voice work for south park. remember when i mentioned that a minute ago? wasn't that funny? why am i mentioning it again? because i need to segue back to south park, since, as i said at the top, it's my "blog theme" for the day. (funny how i made that happen, huh? not funny like when george clooney did sparky's voice, but still...)
>>now this is where i continued with another totally cool south park related thing i'm not gonna continue with now because A) i don't want to, B) okay so i did, and you should click on it 'cuz it's fun, and C) i need to say this:
apparently george clooney did not write that blog!! (the 1st clue? the words "i did not write that blog..."). after reading that article, mommy went back to read the blog he wrote/didn't write, and, instead, found this. what does it all mean? nothing, really. i mean, george clooney didn't write the blog, but he does stand by the statements he made that were in the blog that he didn't write. feel better? i know i do.

"The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them." ~ Lenny Bruce

14 March 2006

amerifreakcan idol...

yeah... i see you looking at that date up there, but no, smartypants, i didn't mess up... i actually did write this post last night (tuesday) so daddy (who's out of town) could have something to read (especially since he didn't get into his room in time to see american idol). then i realized that A) he didn't have access to a computer last night and B) he doesn't really care about this crap any more than i do, so i went to bed, thinking today i'd just use the rest of the post i wrote yesterday (but couldn't because stupid blogger wouldn't let me load up any pictures). continuing with my flawless logic, i then figured i could save this idol crap for tomorrow, and enjoy the fact that i'd be free from actual blog topic pressure for almost two whole days! sweet, huh? but then mommy saw on the news that starbucks is giving away free coffee today from 10-12 (didja hear about this, busymom? i'm guessin' you did!) and all my blogging plans were suddenly shot to blogger hell. i don't have time to tweak yesterday's post for today so i guess i'll just use it tomorrow. and use last night's... today. this all makes sense, right? no? well, guess what? i don't care!
lordy. it's been a long night. 2 hours, to be exact. two long hours watching the contestants on american idol sing stevie wonder songs. mind you, mommy loveloveloves stevie wonder, but she's had some experience singing his stuff, and says it's reallyreally difficult to perform, which tonight's idol contestants proved, with very few exceptions. so let's get to the gettin', and score this puppy, shall we? time's a wastin' and i need to go to bed:
1. ace: ace. baby. sooooo pretty. keep smiling that pretty smile of yours, and for godssake, don't sing any more stevie wonder songs. nice touch with the tears after meeting stevie, tho', you definitely have that sincerity thing down. paula almost had an orgasm just looking at you. did i mention how pretty you are?
2. kellie kellie kellie kellie: you probably won't go home this week, but don't ever sing a song like that again, k? otherwise someone's gonna have to come out there and bitch slap you off the stage.

3. elliot: for cryin' out loud el-lee-ott! you have a wonderful voice, but you mustmustmust stop singing such boring songs. or, stop singing songs in such a boring way...or... whatever. stop it.

4. mandissa: you are a fabulous singer. most of the time. not tonite.

5. bucky: i'll say this for you, bucko, you claim you'd never heard a stevie wonder song before, and yet you sang superstition exactly the way joe cocker did--if his name had been bucky and he had those teeth and that southern accent. not bad. but, y'know somethin' bucky? i'm not sure it was a good sign when simon asked you about your jessica simpson hair-do. guess that was a hair-don't huh?

6. melissa: you forgot the lyrics? i'm thinkin' you can forget idol.

7. kevin: what is your freaky deal, little man? you scare me. you so do not belong on this show, and yet, i'm guessing you'll make it through another week. but watch your nerdy little ass, kevster, those 9 year old girls can only stay up so late... the grownups will be calling in their votes long after the kiddies have gone to bed.

8. lisa: you are lovely. and you're quite the talented little vocaliast. are you sure you're only 16?

9. katherine: well kat, weren't you the special one tonight? all cute 'n sassy 'n singin' your song really well and holding on to your dress and looking ...er... cute 'n sassy? guess you'll be around at least another week.

10. taylor: the fact that you look so spazztastic when you dance is the coolest thing ever. the fact that you have such a great soulful voice doesn't hurt, either. don't dye your hair--even tho' the 12 year old girls won't vote for ya, mommy might.

11. paris: okay. your song was really good (even tho' i still think you're channeling some dead jazz singer) but guess what little girl... you don't get to sing encores just because you got a compliment or two. you just don't. trust me. it was obnoxious and it was just enough to get your ass tossed off that stage for good. i'm just sayin'...

12. chris: dang dude, you're good! mommy likes you, not just because you have such incredible stage presence, but because you remind her of the guy who did that tattoo on her ankle. daddy likes you because dang you're good! still... why are you on idol? shouldn't you be, like, famous already?

so that's my rundown, and, unless i miss my guess, we're all agreed, right? that tomorrow nite tonite bucky and/or melissa will be kicked to the curb? good. my work here is done.

oh, and for inquiring minds who wonder, i may or may not decide to go ahead and finish yesterday's post and use it later today... it kind of depends on how soon mommy can get that coffee and how many naps and/or treats i can squeeze in before she gets back. still, i like the idea of holding it until tomorrow. then again, i could always save it and use it day after tomorrow... or next week. the point is, i have a choice to make and a nap to take. and not necessarily in that order.

"Consciousness: that annoying time between naps." ~ Author Unknown

chef? chef??

stupidcrummy blogger won't let me load up pictures today. stupidrotten blogger thinks i won't post if i can't load up pictures. stupidevil blogger was almost right. almost... stupidcrummyrottenevil blogger.
[ chef! we hardly knew ya!
mommy was little upset today, because isaac hayes is leaving one of her favorite shows, south park--meaning there'll be no more chef! no more lusty love songs in the middle of lunch! no more chocolate salty balls! no more advice to stan and/or the rest of the gang on important stuff, like, how do you talk to a girl? what's it mean to be served? how do ya get kenny's soul out of cartman? now, you need to know that i could have posted this story late last night, since that's when mommy read this article, but i was tired. besides, i figured it was just an itty-bitty blurbish story, so i figured i could take my sweet ass time. apparently i was wrong, however, because this freaking story is being blabbed about everywhere. everywhere, i tell you... everyfreakingwhere! stupid cnn. stupid internet. stupid everyone who out-scooped my stupid blog. making me look like i don't pay attention to important stories, even tho' this one really isn't, cuz it's just about a guy leaving a silly animated show--albeit a show that takes on a multitude of topics with equal zest/irreverence (including the scientology episode--allegedly the reason scientologist isaac hayes wanted to quit--which, by the way, will be airing again tomorrow nite) and features a bunch of kids who use reallyreally bad language and makes mommy and daddy laugh and laugh and laugh.
oh chef. mommy and daddy are gonna miss you. oh yeah, and they're really sorry you felt you had to leave this hysterical show because it offended your delicate religious sensibilities. ]

"Say, everybody have you seen my balls / They're big and salty brown / If you ever need a quick pick-me-up / Just put my balls in your mouth / Ooh, suck on my chocolate salty balls (Stick 'em in your mouth) / Put 'em in your mouth and you suck 'em and you suck 'em." ~ Isaac Hayes (as Chef on South Park)

13 March 2006

soprano's, that-whore-meredith, and...

the west wing! yes-siree-bob. mommy and daddy enjoyed more than a little slice of tv heaven last night, but, since daddy's already blabbed blogged about this stuff, i guess i won't.
ha! just kidding! if i don't make any mention of 'em, i won't have anything to write about today! no, wait, that's not quite true. mommy's been watching that f*ckface former fema director, the oh-so-very-narcissistic michael yer-doin'-a-heck-of-a-job-brownie brown, on c-span for the past little while, and is getting angrier by the minute. not that she doesn't begrudgingly applaud his better-late-than-never efforts to right the terrible wrongs of the post-hurricane katrina emergency response efforts, mind you, but she keeps wondering out loud (very loud) does this f*ckface guy ever take responsibility for anything? so far, based on her wild-eyed look and the fairly mild-yet-constant stream of obscenities coming out of her mouth, the answer seems to be holy-crap-what-a-big-douche-bag-a*sface-s*ttyf*cksh*t no. so, here's what i want to say to f*ckface michael yer-doin'-a-heck-of-a-job-brownie brown: point every freaking finger and toe you own, buddy, but start by pointing them at yourself. and then, if you really want to make a difference, give congress grounds to actually do something pro-active regarding the ineptitude of those you worked for. accountability is all well-and good, but, seriously dude, it starts with ... you. a**hole.
whoa... where'd that come from? yikesies... oh wait, i think i know. mommy and daddy watched the first episode of the new season of the sopranos last night... and i don't know if you know this or not, but on that show? those mother-f*ckers use a lot of mother-f*cking bad language! stupid c*cksuckers. (y'know... after you watch/listen for awhile, your vocabulary kind of becomes infused with these kinds of worms--its something i like to call: obscenity osmosis). i don't think there was a hell of a lot going on last night, basically it looked like a bunch of balding fat guys eating bad pasta/good sushi/lead. since, mommy and daddy were huge fans in the early years, i'm sure they'll keep watching, but i do know they hope the storyline moves along in a more goddamn-motherf*cking cohesive fashion than it did last night.
scariest soprano moment? for mommy, it was when janice (played by the very talented/beefy aida turturro) allowed her 18 month old baby to suckle on her rock 'n roll tongue tattoo'd teat. imagine the nightmares that kid's gonna have. (and, ps... wasn't that little time travel montage supposed to account for past 2 years? or, basically the length of time the show's been on hiatus? so then, how in the world does janice have an 18 month old baby??? is it supposed to be bobby's?? ooh ooh... is it richie's??? nah... that'd be way too creepy. right?)
moving right along... can we talk about grey's anatomy and that sluttywhoreslut, meredith? what the mcf*ck is up with her? the stupidstupidstupid slutty dope finally managed to forge a mcfriendly relationship with mcdreamy only to blow it all to mcpieces when she opened up to him about her incredibly stupid/ selfish/ slutty behavior, i.e. having bad sex with boy-george, which means that now mcdreamy knows mcmeredith is, in fact, a mcwhore. i'm pretty freaking mcsure she can now kiss her mcdream of another mcrelationship with mcdreamy... goodbye.
and, finally... i've never told you this, but mommy and daddy loveloveloved the west wing back when aaron sorkin was still writing each tasty and brilliant episode...so much so, that, when he left, they almost did, too. fortunately for mommy and daddy and/or nbc, they stuck it out through the right-leaning-crappy-story-line years and were rewarded with some pretty darn good episodes over the past year an a half. they think the producers were probably correct to cancel the show after john spencer died, because the show without leo would never be the same. what am i saying here? how the hell should i know? i've completely lost my train of thou...no.. heh heh... here it is: i'm saying that mommy and daddy enjoyed last night's episode of the west wing, (they've been wondering how long it would take before josh & donna finally started to acknowledge their feelings for each other) and they plan to savor every last hi-def moment... right through to the bitter (tho, if santos--aka jimmy smitts--wins, that'd be pretty sweet) end.
as long as i'm on the subject (sort of) i have it on good authority that mommy & daddy wish someone would hire aaron sorkin to script things for the real west wing... 'course they know that's just silly, 'cuz that would mean there'd be folks americans actually trusted callin' the shots from the white house. folks americans actually wanted to believe in. and, when called upon to do so, folks who'd actually take responsibility when they f*ck things up. in other words, it would be a west wing 180 degrees different from the one we have right now. (tho'... wouldn't that make it the east wing?)
"Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel." ~ John Quinton

12 March 2006

dalai bobo's...

...thought for the week
"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." ~Buddha~

11 March 2006

another frabjous day!

caloo! callay! wow... is this weekend off to a good start, or what? yes. yes it is. in fact, it was so gorgeous outside, daddy took us all out for another fun festive frolic in the front yard. and we had a fabulous time! but now i'm too dang tired to write anything clever and/or interesting. fortunately for me, however, mommy came out with that stupid camera of hers and managed to take a few snapshots. of course, mommy is a terrible photographer, i mean, most of the time her pictures are out of focus because she forgets to wear her glasses. and sometimes, because we all hate having that stupid camera pointed at us all the freaking time, we run away from mommy, which means mommy not only takes out of focus pictures, she gets lots of out-of-focus pictures of our collective butts. poor mommy. when will she learn?
never-the-less, since i'm just too pooped to care, i'm gonna use mommy's crappy out-of-focus pictures anyway. enjoy! or not... (did i mention a lot of 'em are out of focus?)
bobo always likes to start out sniffin' around the bushes...why?
because they're there.
once he's finished with that it's off to explore...something. anything.
i, too, am in search of something. anything! actually, what i really need is a good place to scratch my back!
ahhhh! that's just the spot...

okay...now i feel better. time to have some fun. so...where's bobo?

oh that bobo...running over to bark at the stupid dog next door, again. it just never gets old... (what's up with that?)

i started to chase after bobo, but i had to stop, because, look at the way he's hopping over to the fence... see how his two back legs are up? he's runs like a bunny! tee hee!

what a hoppy boy! (bad pun, sorry)

see max. see max run. see max run from all things scary. like me. and the camera. stupid sissy-girly-runnin'-away-from-scary things max.

and, yet, he's a pretty boy, on a good day.

(like today, i guess)

once again fuzzybutt did not get to go outside. fuzzybutt doesn't want to go outside. fuzzybutt wants to sit on daddy's desk and yip at daddy and/or mommy (depending on who's sitting there). he is fuzzybutt, therefore, he yips. stupid fuzzybutt. yipping. and sitting on daddy's desk. not going outside.

okay, ya know what? running commentary is all well and good, but now i'm tired of loading pictures, and, quite frankly, i'm flat out of worms... so, y'know...

that's all she wrote.

Jumping for joy is good exercise. ~ Author Unknown

10 March 2006

dont. want. to. talk. tv.

but it can't be helped.

my mommy and daddy are very pathetic. i don't think that can be emphasized enough. i mean, they do stuff outside of sitting on the couch and watching really stupid television programs, just not so much in the evenings. the thing that annoys me greatly about this practice is the fact that i am often left to observe them observing really stupid television programs. take american idol (please). mommy made daddy watch it again this season after they successfully avoided doing so last year... mind you, daddy fought as valiently as a man who falls asleep while watching his favorite tivo'd shows can fight, but it wasn't enough. for another year, he got sucked into the visual abyss that is: american idol.
my question is this: if they have to watch this freaking stupid show, then, america, what the hell is wrong with you?? can't you people vote for better singers than that kevin kid? i'm sorry, he's cute (in a nerdy, bless-his-heart-he-has-a-nice-voice-but-oh-my-gawd-what's-up-with-that-nerdy-lisp scrawny little kid kind of way) but he has no business standing on that stage. if we're looking for the next american idol (and, apparently we are) is there anyone this side of the appalachians who thinks young kevin is it? no. there is not. in fact, as far as i'm concerned, for lord knows it would make this living television hell that is our night life better, the producers should just cut to the idol chase and get down to the business of identifying the only folks who can and/or should win. in my most humble of opinions, here's what that looks like:
1. kevin -- sayanara nerdy kid... nice try, don't let the screen door hit ya on your way out. and for godssake, don't blow up anything in your chem class next year.

2. katherine -- buh-bye

3. melissa -- might've heard ya sing...don't remember. far as i can tell...see ya, wouldn't wanna be ya

4. bucky -- your name is bucky and you have those teeth. you tell me.

5. paris -- adorable as you are, you are a 17 year old girl channeling dead jazz singers (singers we happen to love, mind you, but that's beside the point) and not quite well enough to win. adieu.

6. lisa -- are you really 16? because you're voice is amazing and we're veryvery impressed. you won't win. but you're veryvery impressive.

7. elliot -- you are a fantastic singer. you will not win.

8. taylor -- when you channel joe cocker you totally rock! we love you. but there is no way in hell you'll get to win. your hair is gray, for godssake. 12 year old girls don't like that.

9. chris -- you rule. but you should have been on rockstar, dude, because you won't win idol. still, mommy & daddy like you best of all, and they'll be happy when you make your first album...heck, they'll probably download your stuff to their ipods.

10. mandissa -- girl. you are fabulous. don't think you'll win, but you are fabulous.

11. kellie -- cute as a button on a hello-kitty cardigan. you might win. probably not. but...maybe.

12. ace -- your name is ace and you're so pretty and everytime you stand up on that stage paula wets her pants. our money's on you. you're not the best singer, but... you're sooooo pretty.

there. can we all just get on with our lives now? wouldn't that be nice? of course, mommy and daddy do have other big viewing plans this weekend, but i just don't think i can talk about 'em right this minute... if you're curious (and, if you are, why? i mean, what part of "my mommy and daddy are very pathetic" don't you get?) you can check out daddy's blog... [here]. as for me... well, i don't know if you've noticed, but the sun in shining, and it's supposed to be a balmy 64 degrees outside today--which means i'll probably stay inside and take a nap in my favorite spot on the couch.
"If you surveyed a hundred typical middle-aged Americans, I bet you'd find that only two of them could tell you their blood types, but every last one of them would know the theme song from The Beverly Hillbillies." ~ Dave Barry