stupid day...

7:20 am: mommy hops out of bed, pulls on her sweatpants and socks, and takes us all outside.

7:23 am: after much yipping, mommy lets us all back in the house & doles out the mandatory morning greenies.

7:55 am: daddy calls to let mommy know that he's just walked into his office and is ready to start another day of workworkwork in order to support mommy in the fashion to which she has become ever so accustomed.

8:20 am: mommy tries to wake up boy #2, who swore up one side and down the other last night that he would, indeed, get up in time to help mommy with her errands.

8:21 am: boy #2 grunts, opens up one eye, says huh? and goes back to sleep.

8:22 am: mommy mutters something unprintable under her breath and races down the hall back into her bedroom, where she discovers, upon looking in the mirror, she looks like a homeless bag lady, and cannot possibly go anywhere until she can get herself looking more presentable.

8:26 am: mommy suddenly remembers there are several loads of laundry in need of washing, drying, and folding, so she races downstairs to do a bit of each. these are not mommy's clothes, mind you, but they do stink and they are in dire need of attention. she considers tossing them into the trash, but remembers that all the money daddy's earning would then have to be spent on new clothes for the boy, and what the hell has he done lately to deserve new clothes, the ungrateful little shit?, so she continues washing/drying/folding all the while muttering unprintable things under her breath.

8:59 am: mommy makes a gallant effort to fix herself up with a bit of blush and lip gloss all the while hoping her sunglasses and a hat will compensate for the lack of eye makeup and totally funky hair on her head. they don't, but it doesn't matter. she has to go.

9:19 am: taking the back roads to greenwich, mommy is dismayed to see said back roads blocked off by numerous fire trucks. mommy turns around and tries another back route... then calls the vet to say we're running late. the vet says that's okay, but they can no longer see us today. mommy mutters something unprintable under her breath, turns completely around, and heads east, towards fairfield.

10:12 am: battling traffic and a vomiting max, mommy finally pulls up to the groomer's, and, after getting us out of the car, hauls us all inside, where we wait for the groomer to finish dealing with a man who has 5 (count 'em five) filthy -tho'-cute bichons. finally, bobo, max, and i are taken to our respective groomers and mommy heads back towards her favorite starbucks in westport, where she plans to treat herself to a triple-grande-soy-no-whip-mocha.

10:32 am: at starbuck's, a lady in front of mommy is holding a list filled with scribbles that, apparently, translate into no fewer than 10 fancy-schmancy-chai-latte-bullshit-somethings... it takes for-freakin'-ever for this lady to order. mommy stands behind the lady and, while waiting, mutters something unprintable under her breath.

10:57 am: driving back towards stamford, triple-grande-soy-no-whip-mocha firmly in her grasp, mommy is shocked to discover there is no gas in her car. she wonders if she'll make it to the gas station... she wonders if either boy would bother answering the phone if she had to call them in an emergency. then... she laughs and laughs and laughs! for, of course, that would never happen. she wills her car to keep going... and, thankfully, it does. she spends $45 filling the tank. finally, muttering something unprintable under her breath, she pulls away. her triple-blahblahblah-mocha is cold. she is pissed. she goes home.

11:27 am: boy #2 is still in bed. boy #1 is only just getting up. fuzzybutt has pee'd all over the kitchen floor. when fuzzybutt starts to beg for food (as he tends to do every 10 minutes or so), mommy realizes she will still have to go to greenwich today, because there is no more cat food in the house, and since fuzzy is on a special diet (for kidney failure) she has to get it from the vet. she mutters something unprintable under her breath, tries to avoid fuzzy's angry glare, and makes a noble effort to clean all the cat pee off the floor.

12:31 pm: mommy suddenly has an epiphany. why does she waste her days with such meaningless falderal, when she could go back to work and do something more fulfilling than cleaning up after dogs, cats, and boys? she used to have a fantastic career... why not have one, again! get out of the house! make shit-loads of money! spend time around people who expect more from her than clean clothes and cash. this seems like a fine idea, until mommy remembers how annoying it is to actually have to go to work everyday.

1:15 pm: mommy takes herself out for a nice long invigorating walk, in hopes of knocking some sense back into her own head.

2:29 pm: mommy gets back from her walk and feels a whole lot better. then, boy #2 gets up. i thought you were gonna wake me up early he says. i did she says. well... er... ah... can you still lend me some money? he asks. no says mommy. well, ah, er... will you still give me a ride into greenwich? mommy decides she doesn't want to do that, either. so she asks boy #1 to do it, instead. boy #1 is willing, despite the fact that he's tired after a day of doing nothing. mommy resists the urge to mutter anything under her breath.

3:41 pm: knowing her day will soon be complete, mommy heads back to fairfield, in order to pick us up.

5:42 pm: we all get back, and mommy does, much to her chagrin, more laundry. she notices that boy#2 has yet to put away any of the stuff he promised to put away over 2 weeks ago. she also realizes there's nothing in the house to fix for dinner.

6:01 pm: mommy remembers that, despite the banality of this particular chaotic day, overall, she's a happyhappy girl with a happyhappy life. as such, she pledges not to mutter anything unprintable under her breath for the rest of the evening. however, when she watches 4this3, (courtesy crooksandliars.com) and is reminded that idiots are running her government, hence; her country, hence; her (mostly) happyhappy way of life, all bets are off. (be sure to click on "video" when the window opens, and turn the speaker on, too) sigh...

* * * * *

ps...normally, this is the day i'd be talkin' about sunday nite's episode of gray's anatomy, or last nite's house, or (and this is a big or) love monkey. as you can see, i've elected not to do that. i don't know why. however, i think daddy may have a word or two on one or two of the aforementioned programs, if anybody's interested. and, ya know... daddy doesn't whine nearly as much as mommy does, so why not check him out 4here3.

"Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement." ~ Charles M. Schulz