18 February 2006

my bad...

dear lips lisa rinna. i'm writing to say i'm sorry. why? because i don't think i was very kind to you a >few days ago<, and now that you've been eliminated from dancing with the stars, i feel sort of guilty. of course, compared to losing to jerry makes-pretty-catches-when-the-passes-come-from-joe-montana-but-gee-he-really-can't-dance-for-shit-tho'-he-sure-seems-to-be-having-a-lot-of-fun-trying rice, my mild critism of your overly voluptuous mouth is hardly a big deal, but still, my bad.
lisa rinna, you got ripped off. big time. and i don't know why. maybe the voters were just so mesmerized watching your mouth (can she move those things? is it hard to breathe with them pressing up against her nostrils like that? is her center of gravity effected at all by the load she's carrying on her face?) they failed to notice your handy... er... footwork. but mommy and daddy noticed, and they thought you were awesome! and adorable. mostly. well, except, maybe for your lips, cuz, you know? they're big. really big. reallyreallyreallyreallyreally big. seriously. you don't need those big lips to look good. i mean, you have that amazing figure, for godsake. mommy hasn't had abs that flat since... well, now that she thinks about it, she's never had abs that flat. but who can appreciate your toned body when your gigantic lips cast such an enormous shadow over it? lisa, listen to me, i know what i'm talking about here. make your fans and/or viewers who like you even if they're not actual fans happy, please, and let some of the air out of those floppy things. not all, just some. well... most. okay... all.
thanking you for your time, and in sincere hopes you'll be gracious enough to accept my apology, i remain yours very truly,
"If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?" ~ Lily Tomlin


Blogger BoBo Banjoey said...

well said...although sad that we know so much about the show...and care enough to write about it...but that's okay...I know you can't really help it.

Love you

18/2/06 5:34 PM  
Blogger puppytoes said...

i really can't! but i'm going to get help... i really am. (in a couple of weeks... after the finale...) love you too! xoxoxoxo

18/2/06 5:54 PM  
Blogger schnoodlepooh said...

Dog lips are much cuter that Lisa's lips.

18/2/06 6:12 PM  
Blogger puppytoes said...

truer words may have never been spoken! : ) tee hee!

18/2/06 6:50 PM  
Anonymous maxxypaws said...

so sad for lisalips...she did indeed get ripped off by jerry-loved-to-watch-him-catch-those-awesome-passes-but-he-really-can't-dance-for-shit-rice. ah well, *i* didn't vote and *you* didn't vote so we can only sigh and bemoan the fact that we actually have spent WAAAAY too much time commenting on and caring about what happens on a friggin' reality show! apparently we all need help : )

18/2/06 9:39 PM  
Blogger puppytoes said...

and just whose fault is it that we have this terrible compulsion in the first place???? fortunately, you're also the veryveryvery smart doctor who can help us all overcome it! tho', i'm pretty sure we'll have to wait a couple of weeks, until the season is over, and the dancing champions are announced. uh-oh... there i go again! aieeeeee!!! lovelovelove you, too, sistie! xoxoxo

18/2/06 10:43 PM  

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