that meredith is such a whore.

or is she a slut? a slutty whore? i don't know what derisive label she deserves for certain, but damn! that girl gets around!

for anyone not familiar with my mommy and daddy's pathetic weekend routine of marathon television viewing (okay, they actually do do other things, but is anyone interested in hearing about their trip to nordstroms to buy daddy a couple of snappy new suits? anyone?) i'm talking about last night's episode of grey's anatomy, in which viewers were treated subjected to excessive amount of whining and moping around by the character played by ellen what-the-hell-happened-to-my-looks-this-year? pompeo. we get it. meredith grey is a brilliant/slutty surgical intern who falls in love with the handsome/brilliant neurosurgeon dr. mcdreamy who turns out to be married but still seems to love her but they can't be together because his own slutty/brilliant doctor wife (who slept with her husband's best friend, dr. mcdreamier mcsteamy) comes out to seattle from nyc in order to apologize to her hubby mcdreamy who (stupidly) agrees to try and work things out (sidebar here... dr. mcdreamy's wife sleeps with another guy, so he--mcdreamy--falls in love with meredith but then he--mcdreamy--takes the wife/brilliant doctor/slut back, even tho she--brilliant doctor/slut wife--knows he--hubby mcdreamy--still loves meredith? yeah, that happens). anyway... so the very frustrated and apparent horndog meredith starts hanging out at her favorite bar and proceeds to sleep with every tom, dick and raphael with clever lines like buy you a drink? what's your sign? open sesame? then she discovers that her mother, an incredibly brilliant/bitchy doctor who's now suffering from alzheimers, had cheated on her husband, meredith's father, when meredith was a little girl (of course, her dad was a mcwimpy but so what)...so, gosh i guess this means this sort of "sleep with anyone with a penis" thing runs in the female side of that screwed-up family. uh...er...um... suddenly i'm not quite sure where i was going with all that, but oh well. here's my point -- 'cuz i sort of have one -- meredith is a sluttysluttywhore! so, then, just to make her even more whorish and slutty and, er, whorishly slutty than before, last night she seduced (sort of) that teddy-bear-cutie-but-who-doesn't-think-this-character's-really-gay? george, who's been pining away for whoreslut meredith since day one of season 1.

do the producers not think highly of this character for whom the show is named? seriously, she's a mess. and while we're on the subject of her sluttyslutty ways, why isn't she the one contracting syphillis? (if you watch the show, you know what this refers to. if you don't... you don't) i'm confused. seriously, i'm thinking that next season the aforementioned producers should toss meredith (nee ellen pompeo) out on her scrawny formerly-attractive ass and focus the show on the actual interesting couple, played by the amazing sandra oh and the very hubba-hubba isaiah washington. but, if they decide to keep meredith, for the sakes of impressionable viewers everywhere i hope they introduce her to -- ahem -- frottage*... or, for complete safety, how 'bout the joys of masturbation? hmmm? hmmm? just a thought.

*what? you don't know what frottage means? well, kids, it means rubbing. with a partner. sexy keep-yer-clothes-on-but-still-feel-reallyreally-good-with-your-partner rubbing. consider yourself informed (and thanks to dr. terri, cuz she's the reason we know this stuff in the first place!)

"If you use the electric vibrator near water, you will come and go at the same time." ~ Louise Sammons