oh me.

all. morning. long. i. have. been. trying. to. write. something. it. has. not. been. going. well. and. there. will. be. hell. to. pay. for. those. responsible. for. thwarting. my. efforts. trust me, toes. may. be. lost.

yep. this morning i was all hey, i'm gonna slam this thing out today so i can get on with my life and then max was all barkbarkbark let me out before something i don't know about yet scares me. so mommy let him out. and i was all alrighty then, let's get going! and max was all barkbarkbark let me in i think there's something scary out here and i may be in danger. so mommy gets up and lets max back in. long story short, this little scenario has played out at least 6 or 7 times over the past 2 hours, which, in and of itself wouldn't be quite so bad, but, between those exchanges, mommy's had to contend with boy #1 (aptly described as chatty arbuckle in an earlier post) offering non-stop running commentary on everything from vice-president dick-face cheney to which movie will be better to see with his girlfriend before taking her out to see brokeback mountain. should they watch once upon a time in the west or open range? or would it be better to see something funny like oh brother, where art thou?, or how 'bout the sting? decisions decisions defreakaingcisions. i'm not sure how much more of this i can take.

ahhhh... finally. the boy has left to pick up his girlfriend (tho' he never did select a pre-movie movie), max is quiet, and i finally get to relax a bit. sweet sweet silence is so golde....ack! aiieeeeeeeeeee! what in the wide wide world of sports did i just hear?? we're out of what? greenies? greenies?? gree-f*cking-eenies??? again? lord help us all. that's it. you can stop reading now, 'cuz i'm gonna stop writing. go on! go get yourself a cup of coffee, grab a snack, do a load of laundry, smoke 'em if ya got 'em (but not around me because so-help-me-god-i-will-bite your toes). i'm getting ready to kick some major mommy butt, after which, i expect my mommy will be dashing off to the pet store to buy what? anybody? anybody? that's right, kids, gre-e-e-eenies. and please, don't worry, cuz i will come back after i've had my ... ahem... fix. oh yes, i will. and then i'll tell y'all about the girls that boy 1 and boy 2 met and are dating/may be dating/please dear god let them be dating, and why i'm ever-so-hopeful they're nice and why that would be a welcome change from the former girlfriends that boy 1 and boy 2 dated a couple of years ago who turned out to be royal psycho-bitches from the pits of hellish hell. it's a really good story. well worth the wait.

"I like to reminisce with people I don't know." ~ Steven Wright