it's official...

meredith is a whore. (or a slut... i can't remember quite what i decided last week. but whatever i said? that's what she is.)

just so you know, i came to this conclusion after watching my mommy and daddy watch another episode of grey's anatomy last night. in this one, meredith come-to-mama grey, that formerly-cute-now-not-so-much surgical intern/whoreslut broke the spirit/heart of tender surgical intern/teddy-bear, george i'm-a-man-i'm-a-boy-i'm-a-boyish-manboy o'malley, by allowing him into her bed/panties, only to crush his crush on her by bursting out in tears as he was making -- what i can only imagine he believed to be -- sweet sweet love to her. mid-act, no less! according to mommy, there are words for women like that... and i think those words are... slut and/or whoreslut. from what i understand, screwed up bitch might work, as well.

meanwhile, back at the mcdreamy ranch... mcdreamy's brilliant/whoreslut of a doctor wife somehow managed to expose her... um... va-jay-jay* to poison oak. poison oak. down there? aren't these people supposed to be smart? reallyreally smart? so smart they're fabulous doctors? and wouldn't smart/fabulous doctors be smart enough to know better than to squat over a patch of freaking poison oak when taking a morning pee break in the great outdoors? apparently not.

as long as i'm on the subject of mcdreamy's brilliant doctor/whoreslut wife (and, in case you got here mid-blog, i am), not only is this character supposed to be smart, when we first met her, she also seemed...classy. sophisticated. heck, she's from new york city, for chrissake. so maybe this is just me, but how weird was it that she spent the better part of last night's episode laying on a hospital bed with her legs spread-eagle as her friend/patient/colleague examined her/told her the rash was (giggle) poison oak/treated her/left her with legs firmly planted in the stirrups in order to rush out/rush back with mcdreamy in tow, so he'd be able to see for himself how sorry his slutty wife was for sleeping around with his best friend (guess you had to see the episode to understand the kharmic reasoning here). yeah, i'm pretty sure her red-rash-enraged-va-jay-jay is gonna make him drop trou. sigh.

at the risk of making this post so freaking long you'll start vomitting cotton, i do have one more programming note. you see, the other tv hi-light last night for mommy and daddy was the dancing with the stars finale. yes yes, i know. that seems more like a pathetic low-light on mommy and daddy's even-more-pathetic to-do list of weekend activities, but what the hell. they liked it. they thought it was fun. heck, they were even happy that cute little drew you're-so-adorable-and-we-lovelovelove-your-cute-li'l-dance-partner-cheryl-too-and-we're-sorry-about-your-brother-nick's-divorce-but-what-the-hell-happened-to-jessica's-lips-anyway?-oh-but-we-digress lachey was the grand winner! but what in-the-name-of-all-that's-holly-hunter happened with the voting that meant stacy oh-my-god-those-legs-that-body-thos..ack!-get-your-hands-off-my-neck-i-only-have-eyes-for-you-and-i-promise-to-stop-oggling-her-i-can't-breathe-please-honey-thanks-that's-better keibler wound up in 3rd place? huh? she got screwed. seriously, jerry was-a-great-football-player-but-isn't-such-a-great-dancer-in-fact-he-really-can't-dance-for-shit rice put on a very nice routine last night, but i'm pretty freaking sure he didn't deserve to beat out stacy, any more than he deserved to beat out poor lips lisa rinna, who really got screwed last week. come to think of it, lips lisa got screwed twice; once by the stupid people who didn't vote for her and once by the doctor with the bicycle tire pump, who over-filled those giant lips of hers (think lisa and jessica simpson use the same tire pump doctor?)

oh my! what have i done here? this is just the kind of long-ass post i'd hoped to avoid today. sigh. no wonder i'm so exhausted, this is a shitload of worms! i'm guessing no one's gonna be too upset if i forego mommy's little basement adventure, right? (tho', if your eyeballs haven't dried up right there inside your skulls, you're welcome to read about that fun fiasco here.)

* mcdreamy's whoreslut/doctor wife, addison, didn't really get poison oak on her va-jay-jay, because (and you'd know this if you'd ever read mommy's sister's book) the va-jay-jay is on the inside of a woman's body, kids, inside! but the writer's of grey's anatomy seem to like that term, better than, oh say the va-vohl-va, so i used it, too. but seriously if the poison oak and her va-jay-jay ever came in contact with each other, she'd be hurtin'... big time. big. time. but since it's just a crummy tv show -- albeit a show called grey's anatomy, about smart/fabulous doctors and/or surgeons (details) and was watched by more people than any other show last week--i'm sure the incorrect anatomical labeling is no big deal.

"If you read a lot of books, you're considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well-viewed." ~ Lily Tomlin